Fuct to the 3rd power

I just slid outta the store, (that cow shut the door and sprang a write up on my ass)
fuct and forgotten
great start to a new fuct year
I am sooo enraged and frustrated by the shape of my life and my heart
I do NOT wanna be fired but
now I get to be all well behaved
no more acting out
Personal side:
no more 1/2 assed sometime not into me dumbass dix
Mc Coy
Andresen
aaah sheyat!

I don't have a friend in Maureen
a total dumbass...

It's so lonely out here in So-very-fuct-ville


I am now officially written up cos some cunt customer complained about me
oh yeah and allegedly a coupla cuntz from my soon to be X-store have too
oh great
I hate my job soooo fucking much
Go out 'n get a new
job
steady sex source
don't complain

do
not
expain

"Caca-the-bed!"-Coll to me re: the Mo debacle

Un
be
lieve
able

That crazy wingnut I have called friend for 24
2/4 years has this am
rejected the mailer I pulled off for her

That's IT
no more work/slave for pallies
the now on waivers pallies
she is on ice
the really thin kind
w/me

Who are these people and what the hell am I
doing w/them?!


the sell-by date is looong
overdue

Ricky don't lose that number

It's the only one you own
or is it?
I've been ringing him and ringing him
shut down the cellie lassnite
and holy mackerel
dude called back
Jesus Christ on rubber crutches
now the fun
the chase begins
ya wanna play?
Let's p l a y
MY way, bit
woo hoo!

"i believe, I believe, I know it's silly, but I believe--Natalie Wood as Susan in Miracle on 34th Street

I am sad that Christmas and oh my God,
New Year Eve is not what it used to be for me .
The family celebration very difficult for me; for all of my sisters
our brothers just show up w/kids in tow.

I am very sad that Rick A. did not--doesn't call
it's another sitch that I either dodged a bad guy, or I sabotaged a possible steady sex source or the truth that was in the cards:

He is NOT the one, Catherine get it?
Got it.
You knew that already. Knew it.

He is doing you a favor.

Keep looking. I know you are lonely and tired of it all.

Let it go, Louie.

2 martinis,verrry dry.< thanks> oh, did you want someting?--Bullets over Broadway

Illusion, what the heck did I expect?!
Riiight the guys a magician and I've made myself waaay too available
cut it out cut my losses-to-be
and run run ruuun to the nearset exit
I know his plaaaans
don't
include
me

Go chase after some ho from Las V
or was it Texas both go right ahead
-
aaah shit
Click
delete
dunzo

Stop calling dude
stop stop stop stop


I am so over it ALL

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends-in some Spike Lee joint

Sleight of hand
trick or treat
went to the art thing-y
newest new man showed up
late
swak'd moi goood
in public

followed him home
got to it
re
peat
ed
ly

I want you for my gf my fiance
I want to have a child with you
do you want that he whispered deep in the night

all of that
oh yes

can it be true
is it all just right there
a home
a family
the real thing
or
is
it just
an
illusion

(non) Love Story II

Where the Sam Hill was I?

Oh yeah--I can't sleep cos I took a risk and drove all the way up to McCoy's here in Chi

didn't
refused
to stop myself from getting w/him
Once AGAIN
zero
O
nada
nothing for me but an ache
it's been 11 mos
said I to myself
I need to feel--
I want to be
aahh sheeeyat
self blame why didn't just say hey I don't LIKE this
I hate it, BTW
nope
he got up dressed and disappeared
coffee?
I realize that he's NEVER going to give me anyTHING ever
so I fixed up
noticed a very pretty 49 yr old face and I knew that if I didn't get the basic fuck outta there I was going to die
of lonliness
I go it's so "over",
so I got out
drove A-
waaay
here's the grim part:
Uturned talking to myself
don't just leave w/o the TALK
lied (now that made TWO of us Aries in the Olympic lying finals)
I pretensed that I left my ahem lacy bits behind--
attempted to engage the asshat in a TALK
he rudely avoided like the 20 something he is
that I thought I could handle manipulate get my own back make do MY bidding
and he walked away from me;
called the snatch that was ringing him all the 10 min he was bleeping me
and said nada nothing about moi
by now I was racing to get outta there and back to MY fam
where I am safe
some fucking snatch-just-talked-to Mc-on-the-cell is standing there all 120 lbs of her brunette 20 something-ness right next DOOR with an Acura for sobbing out loud
I lowered my Cavalli shades gave him the dark brown eyed hate-look of my life and squealed outta there
gort all loose hours later on mimosas @ fam brunch
and called his ass and got the last word(s)
am I safe from the un-protected sex wit'cha
oh yeah and if you want(ed) to have an affair w/ me this is the big time and you can't EVEN deal
bye